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CORUSCATING HELLHOLE OF DERISION AND TOILET HUMOR.

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Your name is Karkat Vantas; you are a 10 sweep old, mutant-blooded troll and you don't know what the hell you're doing.

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[12:22] — meddlingFashionista [MF] began trolling carcinogenicGallantry [CG] at 00:22 —

[12:22] MF: Okay So

[12:22] CG: YEAH?

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meddlingfashionista:

You Are Really Quite Oblivious Arent You

Come Onto Trollian

OK, I’LL JUST BE A MINUTE. 

dshades:

well dreams come true and im here to tell you yours is happening as we speak im happy to be the one to make this happen for you its like were on a new level of friendship because of this now 

i dont know man i kind of like this whole engaging thing im about the hands on feature

NO NO, STOP TRYING TO BRING ON NEW LEVELS OF FRIENDSHIP, PEOPLE KEEP FUCKING DOING THAT TO ME ON THE SLIGHTEST WHIM.

WE ARE JUST HARSHING APESHIT VIBES HERE, YOU GOT THAT??

meddlingfashionista:

Well Can You Think Of Any Possible Reason Why I Might Have Become Frustrated With That Dialogue

I GUESS I WAS KIND OF OVERBEARING ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.

YOU CAN TELL ME WHEN I’M JAWING MY FUCKING CHOPS OFF OR IF YOU DON’T WANT ANY OF MY ADVICE, YOU KNOW. 

meddlingfashionista:

No

Not At All

I Just Do Not Want The Situation To Be Awkward On The Day

IS THERE A REASON FOR IT TO BE AWKWARD? DID I SAY SOMETHING THAT PISSED YOU OFF. 

RELAYING THAT KIND OF INFORMATION TO ME NOW HAS A WAY OF KEEPING ME FROM REPEATING THE SAME GRATING KIND OF BEHAVIOR IN THE FUTURE. 

timetechturntables:

"It’s not an obsession, it’s an appreciation there’s a difference in the two and if you’d known that you’d be able to tell what my real obsession is. But hey if you got the stomach to get me something like that for my big b-day then I think that in itself would be a good birthday present."

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> Even as you’re leaning your head back to take a sip, you keep your head titled half downward to the side to make sure you at least both eyes glued to him. Who does this fucker think he is? Does he know who you think you are?

"Instantaneous if you did, which you won’t because they’re hella important otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered to pack them all on a motorcycle. Yeah, you’d know. You’re like seven soccer moms in one."

"No." 

> There’s nothing there to elaborate on, and you didn’t like the turn of the discussion that inferred you would buy anything phallic ever, much less as a gift. Gross. 

> Does Dave really think he can win this pointless made up game with an alien he can’t actually be eye-level with? (Dave’s shorter. Does Dave remember this?? Note to self: remind Dave how he’s shorter than you even more fucking often than what you already do.) 

"They’re not important. They’re useless gourds taking up large chunks of my living space just because some moron decided he enjoyed the October aesthetic. Why can’t you be like every other asshole this time of the year and settle just for pumpkin-spiced lattes instead??" 

meddlingfashionista replied to your post:I Believe I Owe You An Explanation For Yesterdays Abrupt Behavior

I Just Want The Air To Be Clear Before The Party

DID YOU WANT TO RESCIND YOUR INVITE FOR WHATEVER REASON? 

meddlingfashionista: I Believe I Owe You An Explanation For Yesterdays Abrupt Behavior

UH YEAH 

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I MEAN, NO, IT’S FINE I GUESS. I JUST ASSUMED YOU GOT TIRED OF TALKING TO ME OR ANYBODY ELSE FOR THE NIGHT, YOU DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN. SORRY. 

ahabsiconoween:

> You are, of course, oblivious to this pumpkin shenanigan, or that Karkat is even making any extraneous noise. You are much more concerned with finding the best spot on the couch.

wwhats scuttlebug

oh yea thats true kan wwould get hungry ok wwhat about fancy trees

come onnnn kaaaarrrr you can pick the costume if you wwant i dont wwanna dress up on my owwn and look like a fuckin costume partnerless LOSER

> Typical. 

YOU KNOW, SCUTTLEBUG. SLANG FOR “JUICY GOSSIP.” YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT, DIDN’T YOU USED TO BE A PIRATE. OR, EXCUSE ME, USED TO *PRETEND* TO BE A PIRATE. 

WHY DON’T YOU GO HECKLE TEREZI ABOUT THIS? OR REALLY ANY OF THE OTHER IDIOTS LOITERING ABOUT YOUR HIVE THAT WOULD ACTUALLY INDULGE YOU. LITERALLY ANYBODY ELSE WHO ISN’T ME, ERIDAN.