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CORUSCATING HELLHOLE OF DERISION AND TOILET HUMOR.

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Your name is Karkat Vantas; you are a 10 sweep old, mutant-blooded troll and you don't know what the hell you're doing.

meddlingfashionista:

As Far As I Know We Mean To Settle Here Permanently

Hopefully No Fun Surprises Will Appear That Would Force Us To Run Off Again

We Have Both Come To Possessing Rather Lucrative Careers Here

It Would Be A Shame To Get This Comfortable And Then Have To Leave And Restart Elsewhere

ALRIGHT THIS IS PROBABLY GOING TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE, BUT I DON’T THINK I’VE REALLY ASKED ABOUT YOUR STORE MUCH BEFORE, SO HELP ME FILL IN THE BLANKS HERE.

DO YOU SORT OF

WHAT, PUT OUT YOUR OWN CLOTHING LINE, OR IS IT MORE OF ONE OF THOSE PLACES WHERE YOU TAKES MEASUREMENTS FOR SPECIAL ORDERS?  

AND THAT’S ENOUGH FOR UPKEEP ON THE MANSION?? I KNOW ZAHHAK IS WRESTLING OR WHATEVER IN ADDITION TO YOUR INCOME, BUT YOU GUYS SEEM TO BE GETTING ON PRETTY WELL. 

mulsuhurmas:

ain’t much anymore. 

well alright, but i know better than to up and ask for mcnuggets. got my knowings to that not being the right place. but they got those blizzards right? 

shit bro, might need to all wear protection for that. don’t want to fuckin hurt yourself. :o(

THEY HAVE SOME KIND OF BLIZZARDS. OR SHAKES. I CARE AS LITTLE ABOUT THIS MINIMUM WAGE JOB AS THE NEXT, SO I DON’T KEEP TRACK OF THE MENU OR ANYTHING RELEVANT BEYOND THE BARE MINIMUM. 

THEY DON’T WANT THEIR SERVERS DECKED OUT IN PROTECTIVE GEAR, IT CLASHES WITH THE UNIFORMS. I JUST HAVE TO SCRAPE AWAY AND PRETEND TO ENJOY IT. 

mulsuhurmas:

naw i’m pretty good with that brother, i’m just a clumsy motherfucker sometimes. 

well, at least they got some wicked drinks, or i motherfuckin assume.

terezi still all owes me a trip to one.

skating’s motherfucking wild, sounds like it’s getting itself to be filled with some entertainments. :o)

YES, I’M WELL AWARE. YOU HAVE THIS FUNNY TENDENCY TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT YOUR MISGUIDED ACTIONS PUBLICLY EVERY NOW AND THEN. 

OK BUT WHATEVER YOU DO DON’T COME TO THE ONE I WORK AT, THE ONE I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE ANY INDICATORS OF THAT MIGHT PROVIDE ITS LOCATION. YOU AND TEREZI WILL HAVE TO GO TERRORIZE A DIFFERENT REGION’S SONIC EMPLOYEES OVER RIDICULOUSLY LARGE ORDERS OF MCNUGGETS THAT THEY CANNOT PHYSICALLY SUPPLY. 

IF ROLLING UNSTEADILY THROUGH AN AREA OF HEAVY TRAFFIC, GLIDING LISTLESSLY OVER OIL PUDDLES AND REMNANTS OF GARBAGE FROM VARIOUS OTHER FAST FOOD SITES, THEN SURE, BY THOSE  STANDARDS IT’S FUCKING ***BALLER***. 

mulsuhurmas:

well it’s motherfuckin going as it always is, bro. 

ain’t much damage what’s to be happening, aside from sometimes when i’m a little less careful than i motherfucking ought to be. 

what about with you :o? 

same shit as usual? 

OH WELL THAT’S GOOD TO HEAR. BUT IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO MAKE ANY PROGRESS ON YOUR SPINWHEELING JUGGLER ROUTINE, I’D RECOMMEND SOFTER, ROUNDER OBJECTS TO SLAP AROUND THE AIR WITH YOUR MEATY PAWS. MAYBE REMOVE THE COORDINATED GYRATING FROM THE EQUATION ENTIRELY. 

IF BY THE SAME SHIT, YOU MEAN GETTING FIRED FROM MY LAST JOB AND INSTEAD WORKING AT SONIC’S, THEN YES SAME OLD SHIT.

WHILE THERE MAY BE SLIGHTLY LESS FACE TO FACE CUSTOMER INTERACTION, THERE’S THE IMMENSE BONUS OF SKATING AROUND LIKE A FUCKING TOOL IN UNIFORM.

mulsuhurmas:

YES GAMZEE, I’M ONLINE AGAIN. READY YOUR BALL PIT AND FUNBLASTERS, IT’S ABOUT TO GET FUCKING NUBS WILD UP IN HERE.

shit brother, wasn’t all getting my expectations to you replying at a brother.

though uh, ain’t complaining. :o)

haha.

SHUT UP AND ENGAGE ME IN CONVERSATION, MY BLOGROLL IS OTHERWISE DESPONDENT. 

I HAVEN’T CHECKED IN ON ANY OF YOUR INANE SHENANIGANS FOR SOME TIME NOW.

WHAT’S THE DAMAGE??

meddlingfashionista:

Karkat I Am Not Going To Spend The Next Thirteen Years Waiting In Fear And With Baited Breath To Discover Whether Azazel Grows Into A Cretin Or Not

I Will Do My Best To Raise Him Well And Be Supportive Towards His Aspirations

Hopefully They Will Not Be Illegal Or Insidious In Some Way

NO, I KNOW YOU WILL. I MEAN, IT’S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE MUCH OF A CHOICE IN THE MATTER, ANYWAY. ASSUMING YOU’RE NOT THE JITTERY SORT TO TOSS A WIGGLER OUT INTO THE STREET ONCE HE’S GOTTEN TOO BOTHERSOME TO DEAL WITH (ALTHOUGH I’M GUESSING HE’S ALREADY TAPPED THAT CHECKPOINT IN HIS DEVELOPMENT (NOT THAT I KNOW FUCKALL ABOUT WIGGLER DEVELOPMENT BEYOND MY OWN WEE YEARS THAT I’VE SINCE BLOCKED OUT BECAUSE OF ALL THE FOND MEMORIES OF LOUNGING IN MY OWN SECRETIONS)). 

BRAT ASIDE, HEY 

ARE YOU AND EQUIUS GOING TO LIVE IN THAT MANSION INDEFINITELY, OR DID YOU HAVE SOME OTHER PLANS STEWING? 

"
Sometimes love and loss hold hands together.

-

Michael Faudet 

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com-pulsion:

I want a cactus in a cute little pot and I’ll name it after you because you’re a fucking prick.